Sunday, 3 March 2013

A Sunday morning rant

There are some things that really get on my nerves, and this morning there were rather a lot of them all in the same place. So, just to get this off my chest:
  • Christmas is over. It is Lent, vestments are purple, the tabernacle is covered with purple. The altar and the ambo are adorned with purple. But for some reason there are Christmas banner things (white, with star and manger) hanging up, half way down the church.
  • Electric guitars do not belong in mass. I can just about tolerate acoustic guitars (although to be honest if the organist is away I think I'd rather we just didn't have hymns) but not pink acoustic guitars and definitely not electric guitars.
  • Go the mass is ended is a terrible hymn. If you're on the fence about it you've obviously never lived in the West Midlands.
  • Children as old as 13 leaving mass to attend the Children's Liturgy. They leave before the Penitential Rite.
  • Bidding prayers which focus almost exclusively on what is in the news this week. Pope Emeritus Benedict did get a mention this week, for the first time ever. I'm not saying that we shouldn't pray for the people who died in the hot air balloon crash, but it would be good if we also prayed for the Church, the clergy, vocations, our conversion, our government, the protection of marriage and the family...but don't worry, we have got the horsemeat scandal covered.
  • Children coming back from their liturgy in the middle during the offertory and then, when the priest has already started the Eucharistic prayer, interrupting the mass to 'share' what they have learned about this morning. At least there were no notices given at this point today.
  • EMHCs being given pieces of the host and standing there holding them while the priest continues and then all consuming the host when the priest does. If you aren't a fan of EMHCs you should skim the next couple of points because in my parish we suffer from a severe confusion of the respective roles of the clergy and the laity.
  • EMHCs giving blessings to those who don't receive Holy Communion.
  • Priests sitting in the congregation and not celebrating mass. And if there's another priest there we really don't need 5 EMHCs. But if I hadn't been introduced to him I wouldn't have known he was a priest.
  • Cherrypicking from the new translation. The word is not 'all', it's 'many'. And we no longer 'go in peace to love and serve the Lord'.
  • People staying in church for a natter after mass. Some kind volunteers are serving tea and coffee, and even biscuits, in another building: it's not as if you have nowhere to go!
  • Incaica vestments. You know, stripey, woven, Latin American stoles.
I think that's enough to be going on with - I do feel better now. I hope I haven't ruined anyone's day. I will attempt to hold my tongue for the next 12 months or so.


  1. I am glad i do not have to endure all that, You have my sympathy

  2. It doesn't bear thinking about.

    Sometimes good to be given a reality check and reminded just how fortunate we are down here in Blackfen. (Mind you, I was praying for some twenty years before I was eventually answered by having a regular Usus Antiquior Sunday Mass within reasonable travelling distance.

    I pray that you will find a reverent, sound and abuse-free Liturgy within your home area rather quicker than this.

    Of course, if you are ever in South East London, you would be most welcome at Blackfen (or indeed Clapham Park).

    God Bless,

  3. I've never been to an EF mass. Most of the time I count myself lucky that there is a Catholic Church practically on my doorstep, which is open all day, and mass every day, two of which are in the evening meaning that people who work can go. I don't think I'm being unreasonably demanding, I'm just asking for a little reverence...

  4. Unfortunately I could add to the above list. For example: parents opening a packet of Cheese Quavers for the 4-year-old during consecration, which then the child proceeds to chew noisily with the spicy cheesy smell swiftly penetrating the air while Fr. elevates the chalice...

  5. Recusant. Why have you never attended the Mass of all the ages? It is the greatest part of our patrimony 1980 years. I pray for the Return of the Mass to my own parish every day. When I attend the Novus Ordo my soul aches

    1. Probably because opportunity and inclination have never coincided. Nowadays inclination is increasing and opportunity is at an all time low.


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